Text | Ye Xiao-key
Current Situation
When children eat, they are easily distracted, often playing while eating, and taking too long to eat, most of them more than an hour, which affects the progress of things to come, including school work and daily routine.
Sometimes when children are allowed to finish their school work, they go to bed too late and stay in bed the next morning, and teachers report that they do not learn well in school, and that they have little energy or strength. If a child only completes and does not revise his or her schoolwork, the teacher will scold and concern him or her for turning in the work, and the child will eventually return the revised work and turn it in again.
If they do not study and review their progress in advance, they will be confused in class and will not be able to keep up with the teacher in class, making learning difficult.
Sometimes this is the case, and the cause is found, but the solution is not yet found. What is the most important trigger for children at this stage? Snacks, drinks, playtime, novelty toys, etc.
I recently came up with the idea of giving monetary rewards. If a child completes a task, he or she can get a small amount of money, and through the accumulation of times, save enough money to buy a favorite toy.
I had the same problem, trying to get 25 minutes to read English books before bed. But now I have my phone in my hand and I keep swiping it, always thinking that I will read in 5 minutes.
However, swiping my phone is a black hole of time. When 30 minutes are up, if I don’t go to sleep again, I won’t be able to get up for work tomorrow. This situation causes me to be unable to read, and I keep repeating the cycle, feeling guilty and renewing my resolve to review my textbook, but still swiping my phone.
Studying is a long term continuous action, just like playing a video, if the network is not working, watching the video keeps getting stuck and walking around, you may not want to finish the video.
Walking and stopping, trying to use the whole block of time to review the coursework will also lose the good imagination at the beginning.
Some people say you can use pieces of time to study, I think pieces of time are not used to study, but to think about whether there is a good solution to the problem.
The progress bar is the same, stuck at 1/3.
The appeal of toys to children is very powerful, and can change the work schedule or habits of children, but, when the toy is finally in hand, then everything is back to the original state, and we start again, and again back to the original point.
The origin is the same late dinner, study and homework as very late, dragging to everyone time, so we are tired and ready. We are in tears from writing homework, we go to bed late, we can’t get up in the morning, we stay in bed, we want to sleep for another 5 minutes, we fall asleep in class, and we can’t keep up with the teacher.
At this point, parents get angry and impatient and want to give up, so they just let it go.
Before, I had set up an English test, but I didn’t follow the plan and bought a question bank to read, only to flip through the first 10 pages and then put it aside, so I didn’t pass the English test.
This process results in a waste of time and money, as well as a blow to your confidence and schedule.
For adults, the consequences can remain the same. Unless the company is experiencing profitability problems, which affect the personnel layout, when the company is not profitable, for personnel will want to streamline. I wonder if we are on this list of considerations.
When the company is profitable and there are new job openings, we may not be able to get a job because our English is not up to par or our education is not up to par.
Although we have the ability and good performance, we do not have the proof of the company’s approval. It is possible that we work the same hours, but the salary is different.
The road to happiness
Daniel Pink, in his book Drive (Classic Edition), has a different perspective on goals.
In a self-directed goal experience, the goal is self-actualization and the activity itself is the reward. ___Daniel Pink
As the proverb says: There is no road to happiness, because happiness itself is the road.
Goals are specific, set with clear numbers, write down the smallest actionable behavioral steps, and make both the goal and the behavior quantifiable in order to make the goal self-fulfilling.
For example, if you ask your child to start eating 3 minutes shorter, we may not be able to organize things if we are not sure what to ask or what to specify.
Goals are not just lip service, they should be a way to get things done, to make progress each day, to make a little bit of progress each day.
The goal I set was to pass the English beginner’s test. First I paid the registration fee and set the test date. First I paid the registration fee and set the test date. By date and number of questions, I scheduled myself to write one question per day, starting at 5:30 am and putting in 25 minutes to practice.
The goal seems to be the shopping process, has the item been shipped after the order was placed? Or is it at the forwarding station? Is it possible to check online?
Using this concept, you can say that there is a need to think, compare, order, ship, wait, check, and use.
Need to make you order, for example, washing machine, this is the need, will improve life to do things at home time and, save time, save energy.
Because of the need to enhance your life or work, the goal is your needs.
Doing so
Asking children to discipline themselves to get things done requires some kind of skill, a way we can get started right away, perhaps a verbal adjustment. In a child’s world where simple and effective feelings may be needed, words may be an immediate energy that can be used in a way that is most directly felt by the child.
Conditional rewards — if you do this, then I’ll give you that — can have a negative effect_Daniel Pink
I’ve told children before: If you eat in 30 minutes, I’ll give you a $50 reward. This is the wrong direction to give a child, and it has a negative effect in the long run.
The “if-then” reward is a mistake and should be changed to a “since-then” reward. _Daniel Pink
Instead, say, “Since you’re eating in 30 minutes, I’ll buy you an ice cream drizzle.
There are closed questions and open questions to maintain our positive attitude with questions.
Closed questions :
Every night before you go to bed, ask yourself this little question: “Am I better today than I was yesterday?” ___Daniel Pink
Don’t spend your time reading a book or swiping your phone, use that time to think about a question and seek a solution. Use the fragmented time to ask yourself a question. For example: Is there a minute of progress in completing the task than yesterday?
Open-ended questions.
1. What did I do well today?
2. What could I have done better today?
3. what would it take to do that?
Describe in concrete terms that achievement grows in the long term, which is 1000 days.
For children and adults there are two behaviors that can be used to twist the drive.
1. change the language and use the “if-then” sentence pattern.
2. Use fragments of time to ask yourself questions.
Today it is raining and I turned on the dehumidifier as usual. The relationship between drive and us is like a dehumidifier, which leaves water behind to make the air a little better, lowering the moisture value and improving the conditions for inhaling and exhaling. The drive is to make the self a little better.
When you often use a dehumidifier he will become a habitual existence of things, whether it is raining or not, will go to turn on.
Drive dominates our life, extending our ability to make life meaningful, the effort thing, is done for this.
Let you drive on the work, not in standby mode.
https://skyandmac.zhubai.love/posts/2146521611196026880
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)